Inside the Spin-Mosaic Studio

Funny how things go. For 15 years, I inspired student's art. Now, following my dream of a full-time studio, it is their art that inspires me.

The day before Mother's Day found me high-stepping stacked boxes and peering between heavy sluggish Tote tubs. When a mother-of-4 decides to get nostalgic, there is no standing in her way!

When a mother-of-4 is also a teacher---and has loved 100's of children, there is no stopping the tears when I pause to remember. Once a teacher; always a teacher.

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A box flap in the far corner draped open far enough for my wrist to slip through. I was looking for a certain box with stacks of photos that didn't make the cut into the baby books. Nope. No stacks of pictures. But...what's this? A small wrapped object in crinkly paper. My curiosity was snagged.

Moving 3 heavy Totes of kid's winter clothes could not have been easier than stacking sleeping manatees, but it was worth it to resolve a good mystery.

When the kids were little, mysteries sometimes came in the form of riddles. Among the missing photos, were several from far-earlier days driving the green grocery-mobile from town with various sizes of carseats lined up in the back seat. Passing cheerios to little fingers and riddles to their minds kept many a drive home on the happy side.

Here I was again, "riddling" out loud in the dark basement, but with no little ears listening anymore, "What is as small as a baseball, wrapped in crinkly paper, and as heavy as a rock?"

Once the Totes were moved, the box in the back with the open flap slid out easily. Oh! There were more baseball-rocks wrapped in paper. What are these? 

10 minutes later, my 8-year old son found me downstairs in my art studio--the very studio I shifted my art teaching career for 2 years earlier. The contents of the box were spread out lovingly on the long butcher table in front of me. I hardly noticed when he walked in with his devise held high. The little red light was on.

"Hey, Mom, you wanna make a video?" He was into making little videos this week. Last week it was manatees. Next week it might be yo-yos.

"I'm just not in the right head space. Thanks, maybe later...ok?" My voice sounded small and far away even to my own ears.

Poor boy, he had no idea what I had just uncovered. This box had been lost since my school teacher days. How I had loved that version of myself. How I had loved my art students! Beyond my own 4 whose sweet faces line my photo books, there are 100's more who have stolen their own corners of my heart with pencils, brushes, markers, glue, or clay in hand. I wonder where they are today. 

Crumpled brown packing paper had fallen onto the floor. My cupped hands held one of many as if sheltering a fragile bird nest from the wind. It was heavier than anything that small should normally be. The imperfect rounded edges were smooth and nearly conformed to my loose grasp.

Fighting back tears, I took a breath. Out came my bold in-front-of-class teacher voice again, "Ok, Brandon, go ahead. Let's take a video. I feel like I'm going to cry, but go ahead. I will just start talking, okay?"

His devise didn't have much juice left in it. The picture is grainy. I'm pretty sure the smudge on the camera lens is where the smear of peanut-butter-&-jelly on his cheek went from lunch. He captured a side of me not many have seen...even me.

Somewhere in the few minutes of this video, I answered my own question I had been asking myself for weeks...what's next?

Sometimes, the answer to the question, "What's next?" is about what has been. It's about holding the littlest things full of significant narrative in a cupped hand, and saying out loud, "Go ahead." 

Funny how things go. I spent 15 years teaching; and loving teaching...all the while dreaming of having a full-time studio some day. Now, I sit in the studio on Mother's Day dreaming about my students.

I always told my students to follow their dreams. Actually, I used pictures more than I used words. That's what art is. That's what art does. Live by example. Go ahead...

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---Christi, Mrs. "Z"

*Video coming soon with continued writings of the journey from teaching to studio.