Inside the Spin-Mosaic Studio

Hi, God. It's me...again.

"I have named the stars and I also know you."

"He counts the stars and calls them all by name." --Ps 147:4

I'm a little lost on "this one". 

"Lost is my specialty."

“I will seek the lost, bring back the scattered, bind up the broken..." --Ez 34:16

Please meet me here now. 

"I am here. I have been here. I will be here always."

"The Lord your God is in your midst." Zeph 3:17

Please see. Please know. Please listen. Are you there? You are so...You. And, I am so...Me.

"I have been waiting for you!"

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." --Heb 4:16

I need you. They need you. People need you. Here. Now. Please show up!? There is a mountain that needs to be moved.

"I am here. I am awake. I am more present than you can understand."

"My help comes from the Lord who made heaven and earth. He will not let my foot be moved; he who keeps you will not slumber." --Ps 121:1-8

My imagination is going a little crazy right now...all of...what might happen. Please step in.

"Your imagination? Rest your imagination within mine. Trust mine."

“No eye has seen, no ear has heard, nor has the mind of any man imagined the things that God has prepared for those who love him.” --1 Cor 2:9

To be honest, it's a little complicated. I don't know what to say or how to say it.

"It's okay. I already know. Just come."

"Before a word is on my tongue, you, LORD, know it completely." --Ps 139:4

So, while I figure it out, I'm gunna turn it back around on you, God, okay?

"Yes, please. This is what I want you to do. This is what I am here for...and so much more."

"...do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him and He will direct your paths." Prov 3:5,6

Iv'e heard--you've said in the Bible and the very words of Jesus, that You are big enough to handle it.

"I am. I am the same yesterday, today and tomorrow."

"God!--It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power...nothing is too hard for you."--Jer 32:17

You said it makes a difference to direct my thoughts to You and away from feelings that churn inside.

"When you do, peace is your evidence."

"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything...let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. -- Phil 4:6,7

You said it matters when I form words from my fears and send them in Your direction.

"Fear is not of me and has no power over you."

"For God gave us a spirit not of fear, but of power and love and self-control." --2 Tim 1:7

You said it matters when I lift the burdens on my heart and place them in your hands instead.

"This act of faith more than matters; it sustains, and will keep you steadfast."

"Cast your burdens on the Lord, and He will sustain you." -Ps 55:22

I'm sorry that too often I try to be self-sufficient, but this is so much bigger than me. What can I do?

"Relax. It's not about who you are or what you have to bring to the table."

"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." --2 Cor 12:9

You said it matters when I look away from what consumes and confuses, and look to You who knows everything.

"I have come to make all things new. But first, look away from other things so that your eyes are free to see Me."

"Turn my eyes away from worthless things. Give me a new life in your ways." -- Ps 119:37

I'm sorry that, too often, I am distracted. Please grow my faith and bring me into focus.

"Even faith as small as a mustard seed can move a mountain."

"The Lord is like a father to his children, tender and compassionate to those who fear him. For he knows how weak we are; he remembers we are only dust. Our days on earth are like grass; like wildflowers, we bloom and die. The wind blows, and we are gone—as though we had never been here. But the love of the Lord remains forever" --Ps 103:13-17

Now that Iv'e said all that, God, I bring to you "This".

This that I I need to pray about.

This that needs your power, your healing, your direction,

     your leading, your hiding, your strength, your Word,

          your perspective, and your...my words fall short...

I don't even know what exactly is needed.

     I leave that to you.

This needs the best of your 'everything'.

     This needs all that you have promised. 

This needs what Jesus came for.

     This needs...what only You can do.

"..................."

After all those words, why are you silent, God? I did what I was supposed to do!? I stopped my agenda, found a quiet place, pulled words out of my head and sent them in your direction. That's what Iv'e been taught is prayer. Now, you're silent? I'm sorry, I have no right to question or expect you to answer how I want you to answer, but isn't prayer a 2-way street? What do I do now? Speak, please. 

"What have I said about love?"

I was talking about prayer, not love?

"When you talk about prayer, you talk about answers. When I answer prayer, I talk about love. What have I said about love?"

"I will quiet you with my love." -- Zeph 3:17

"After prayer, quietness is the resting of faith. Faith...can move a mountain. You prayed about a mountain, did you not? Be still and know that...I am God."

“I leave the gift of peace with you—my peace. Not the kind of fragile peace given by the world, but my perfect peace. Don't yield to fear or be troubled in your hearts..." -- John 14:27

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*A Note from Christi--

I have several friends right now who are facing mountains...the kind of mountains that only God can move or heal, or bring perspective to.

The prayer journey above makes no attempts to be eloquent, or to stay inside the confines of any official doctrinal statement. 

My goal only is to be transparently human and share a certain thought journey that did cartwheels across the landscape of my mind this last week while I spent hours painting a simple Woodland Mountain nursery.

Burdens are our mountains, are they not?

We are burdened with our own issues at times; from the past, present or future. We are burdened for others at times.

We are asked to pray. While honestly, I struggle with what that means sometimes. It is my/our part to carry out the definition of prayer as much as it is or is not understood by humans---to lift my voice in the direction of God? He says this act of faith makes a difference.

As an artist, I have learned that visual imagery is my gift. I must default to rely less on what exact words I bring to the table, and focus more on the attentiveness of imagining the situation being given into the hands of God and carried on the shoulders of Jesus.

Sometimes this comes in the form of creating art about the "mountain" and asking God to translate it as prayer and send out his Spirit and his angels. Yes, this, I believe...counts. (Below, 1 of 28 women in the Central African Republic I created as a prayer for 'their mountain'."

This artwork above was created about 5 years ago. This week, the stories of Afghanistan are heavy on my heart. Specifically, I pray for the women; mothers. It's hard to know what to pray. I don't know them by name, but God does. 

This is what's heavy in our world right now. But, I wrote the words above without specific application because any mountain, any "This", can be inserted into the truths.

The sequential voice exchange I wrote is not actual. I do not claim special revelation. But, the Bible does speak these truths (credits to the New Living, New International, or Message Bible). The imaginative writing is a natural progression of prayerful thought that has flowed like a river for years when I find myself absorbed by mountains that are too big for my own words. Most mountains are.

When I began creating Art 15 years ago, I was in the midst of a medical crisis of my own...my own mountain. One morning, I said to God, "Of what good use is it for me to feel this way? I can't do anything. I can't even take care of my family! (My girls were little at the time). The only thing I can do is... "pray?...from my couch?" I felt like it was an anti-climactic way to live a life.

It was then that God whispered to me,

"Prayer is not the least you can do,

     it is the greatest.

It is not the last resort,
     it is the 1st go-to.

It is not a weapon of the weak,
      it is a call to the One who is Strength."

The words strung together in this writing are words of honesty when I don't quite know what to pray. Some might say it's too informal and lacks respect. I say Jesus walked in the dust with all of us and likely heard a weary earful from his disciples while laying his head on a rock in many a makeshift tent.

It is a human failing of mine to be concerned, but to veer towards thinking hopeful and positive thoughts "towards" a situation, rather than committing time in the direction of God, who has claimed to hear, send angels, move mountains, and shift His power when we pray. Guilty, I am.

May these humble writings spark a prayer if even in one heart today. And if a prayer is sparked in faith, mountains can move!

And, the music in my head was... "It Is Well" by Bethel Music.